Toni Braxton talks about abortion of convenience calls her decision selfish

Toni Braxton says abortion was selfish- she feels ashamed-she still deals with the psychological impact of her decision.

Toni BraxtonET

According to the interview that she gave to ET, Toni claims that more than 10 years ago, she discovered she was pregnant by her then-boyfriend, soon to be husband Keri Lewis. (Of R&B band Mint Condition) Toni says she was in the middle of a six-month prescription of Accutane, which is a heavy-duty prescription acne treatment that can produce devastating side effects for fetuses.

She made the decision to terminate the pregnancy, as a result of this but in her new memoir “Unbreak My Heart“, she admits that even if she hadn’t been on the medication, she would’ve made the same decision. According to Braxton, her reasons had more to do with convenience than fear her baby would be abnormal.

“I felt selfish because I was thinking, I’m going through bankruptcy — there’s things going on with my life and I can’t give this kid any future. I was feeling hopeless for no reason, when I look at it now for no reason, what was I thinking?

“I am not really embarrassed about it, I am more ashamed of myself for doing that because I could’ve figured something out financially — that was just an excuse I was making for myself.”

Years later, when her second son Diezel was diagnosed with autism, she felt a tremendous sense of guilt.

“Is God punishing me for that abortion?” she wrote. Braxton added she realized her thoughts may sound strange to some, but she couldn’t help believing that this was, “God’s payback to give my son autism.” She also began questioning whether her health troubles (she has lupus) and her parents’ messy divorce were the result of the abortion.

Toni claims she still deals with the psychological impact of her decision.

I often tell myself I have three kids. I have two boys, but I often have to tell myself I have two kids. But in my head I feel like I have three kids,” she explained.

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